Work Related Stress – A Personal Story 6

Apologies for the delay between the articles. I struggled to find the records of that time and was also very busy at work.

After the trade union was introduced into the proceedings, the process took on a different structure. It became more formal. More about actual progression, other than the regrettable lack of process mentioned in my last post. How can someone fail to comply with a process that doesn’t exist?
I managed to organise a few training courses. I regret missing the first one because it fell in the middle of my annual leave. I forgot about it. Ironically, it would have been the most useful as it was about Timekeeping – a skill I had been told was just common sense (better tell 1000s of professionals giving courses in it that they are wasting their time).

I was able to attend another course called “Dealing with Change”. I learned how to deal with the emotions surrounding change. I learned about the Circle of Influence – how there are some things you can control, the environment you are in and the things you cannot control. I learned about the two types of people when dealing with change, summarised in the table below:

Taking Responsibility	Victim (Blame Mentality)
Proactive	Reactive
Positive	Negative
Happier	Down
Challenges to overcome	Problems
Solutions	Stuck
Reason	Excuse

I also learned about the Pyramid of Needs. At the bottom, we have Psychological Needs (food, water, oxygen and warmth). Then, Security Needs (job security, social acceptance, safety and security). Followed by Self-esteem (what part do we play in the change, what doubts do we have) and Achievement (performing well). Looking back, I can see that only the first need was met. There was no job security or social acceptance amongst the team. I really enjoyed the course and learned a lot.

At the next team meeting, I was mockingly asked to describe the course and how it had changed me. You can start describing the emotions you learned to handle, but none of the team cared.

I have no notes about the next few meetings. The Trade Union rep was not present at one of them. I sent him the notes afterwards, and he asked, “Did this really happen?” In that period, I delivered 2 projects. One was late due to the code review that I did. The deadline was at the start of January, and it was completed a week late. No mercy was shown when some code was found to be insufficient. It should have been right the first time, even though I didn’t write it; it was my responsibility. No mercy for the client changing the design the week before Christmas. You should always do what the customer wants. My studies were going well with the book I was assigned to read and the online course I was taking. My communication with clients greatly improved, although my colleague’s communication still needed improvement. They told me that simple tasks I thought would take 1 to 2 hours should take 1 minute.

I also met one of the nicest girls a week after failing with another. Unfortunately, romance is out of the question when you are constantly attacked. Every good feeling you have is analysed and found to be flawed. You are always insufficient. It didn’t work out, unsurprisingly.

Because I did not deliver one of the projects on time, I was informed that I was incapable of doing my job. I was given 3 months to improve myself. Human Resources suggested that if I went down a grade, all of the Performance Improvement Plans would be cancelled. I decided not to bother at that time.
Dealing with Change did not help me here. I was lost.

Read on for Part 7