Work Related Stress – A Personal Story 2

Thank you for the feedback on the last article. I think other people’s experiences can be hugely helpful.

After my breakup, I was a bit of a wreck, but I decided to do something about it. The doctor advised Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) courtesy of Health In Mind. I was referred to a place in Boomtown. A nerve-wracking experience. In my first meeting, everything came out in a rant. We decided to have one meeting per month.

I took time off, came back and immediately had to head off on a business trip. The loneliest hotel stay I have ever had. It was a difficult trip. I learned that I don’t have the mental/verbal skills to handle aggressive situations. To top it off, I was late for the return flight because the taxi driver got lost.

At work, a few issues are reported. More meetings, where I am told that “I’m not just some idiot boy off the street…” but they “feel like they can see the wool between my ears…”. What do I want to be? They asked. How should I know? I want to make my own decisions. I’m told that it doesn’t matter how good it looks as long as it works; in some cases, it doesn’t. And this environment that was just created for testing? You are responsible for it, and it doesn’t work. Fix it.

I met with the therapist and decided to work on Assertiveness. Each month, she assigns me tasks. I practise at work and with friends. Things start changing slowly. It gets much harder at work and then easier as time passes. Socially, I learned it’s best to tell people what you think or feel. It’s tough, but I did it.

My friends and I decided to go to Amsterdam for a week. It turned into one drunken trip to get over a breakup. Good times! Returning home, I was sitting next to a couple who were so cute it’s untrue. I decided that I wouldn’t go away until I got that again. How times change.

One Friday afternoon, another issue was reported, and I investigated it with some help. “This is really badly written.” I was told. The irony hit me. The work is not mine to complain about; it was the opposite of what I was told. It works but doesn’t look good. I started laughing hysterically and couldn’t stop, much to the annoyance of the people around me and the person trying to tell me off.

In my final meeting with the therapist, I talked about all my life relationships so far. We spent the next hour reviewing them, and she says she can see a pattern in these relationships. I haven’t pursued the relationships that I wanted. This is something different from assertiveness. She referred me to additional counsellors, but I wasn’t inclined to follow up with them. She asks me what I want people to say about me at my funeral. Somewhat morbid, I said, “He was kind, generous and never judged.” What are my long-term goals? To be good at my job and to have a comfortable home life. What have I always wanted to do but been afraid to attempt? Going travelling alone or with friends. What would you do if you had 6 months to live? I would move out of my parents’ and travel, visiting places I want to visit.

Things seem to be improving!

Read on for Part 3